To understand sex, we need to understand
intimacy. There was a
space of time, when man had been created in which he was alone. Adam communed with God, tended his garden
home, and named all the animal species he encountered. But as Adam looked around he saw the male and
female of other species and realized that he had no female counterpart. Despite the perfection of his surroundings,
and the ability he had to communicate directly with our God, Adam felt his
loneliness. He needed even more
companionship than merely the comforts his perfect world surrounded him
with. And God was a witness to Adam’s
need. God Himself declared “it is not
good that man should be alone”, He would make man a “help-mate”. So God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep,
removed a rib from his side, and used it to form a woman. Keep in mind, that all of these events
occurred BEFORE evil entered our existence.
The woman was united with man, and the first “marriage” and family unit
was established – again before the entrance of sin, before any of its effects
or corrupting influences. And Adam and
Eve were one flesh. So then the ability
to have sex was created in perfection.
Sex is older than ‘sin’, so maybe we should then begin to think, perhaps
it will exist AFTER evil has been extinguished.
But man and woman being united was more than simply within
their physical bodies. They were united in purpose. They had the same goals. They enjoyed the company of each other. They were in fact experiencing ‘love’ for
each other and this bond grew very strong.
God created this relationship for man to teach him what intimacy means. To teach us how close He wants to be with
each of us as individuals, and as part of a family unit. God Himself was known in 3 distinct entities,
the Father, His Son, and the Holy Spirit as the Bible explains. While these entities are distinct, they are
united in purpose and goals – just like our first family unit was. As the Son of God, our Creator walked in the
evenings through the garden paradise with Adam and Eve and communed with
them. It is unknown how much time was
spent in the garden paradise before our encounter with evil would alter us
forever.
There are many points to made here. First, God created a woman to become one with a man,
both physically, and mentally. He did
not create another man to become Adam’s special friend. He could have, but did not. That is not what man truly needs. He did not create several women for Adam, for
him to choose to live pluralistically with.
There is no true intimacy with more than one partner. He did not choose to give Adam children to
take care of. The relationship between
parent and children was NOT enough to meet the needs of Adam, or even Eve at
that point. Adam needed a relationship
with an equal, not with a child. He did
not tell Adam to tough-it-out, be celibate, and simply take care of his needs,
himself. What God did do, is to create
the perfect woman, to give to the perfect man, in order for the happiness of
both. This became the ideal example of
intimacy for man to understand.
Both Adam and Eve stood naked
and unashamed in the garden.
Our first dress code was in fact – no clothes at all. Adam and Eve walked with God naked, communed
with Him this way, and were unashamed to do it.
The entrance of evil into our world, brought the requirement for
clothing, but perfection did not need it.
Adam and Eve becoming one flesh did not require ‘hiding’ from God. God is no voyeur. He does not need to intrude on a tender
moment, but the point here is that our first parents did not have to ‘feel bad’
about doing what God designed them to do.
The desire to be with each other physically was also something God had
instilled within them. The fact that sex
feels good for both man and women is an indication that God is not one-sided in
His dealings with us. He wants us to be
happy, both man and woman.
While there are distinct differences between the strengths
and weaknesses of men and women, the combination of the two tends to be quite complimentary. Ever heard the expression; ‘my better
half’. This is nothing more than the
simple recognition that someone else, truly completes our lives – that we are
better off together than alone. Being able
to share our hopes and dreams with someone else, without fear of rejection,
condemnation, and belittlement – this is what intimacy means. To know that no matter what you wish to
accomplish, there is someone special who will be by your side, helping you in
whatever you attempt, supporting you when you fail, lifting you up when you
need it. This is the meaning of
intimacy.
The physical expression of intimacy is sex. It takes our poor inadequate words about how
deep our love is for our soul mate, and puts it into action. Incredible sex begins just like everything
else in life, and in heaven, by giving to another. True fulfillment is found in putting the
needs of another before yourself. The
goal becomes to please, not to be pleased.
And the happiness and unspeakable joy is found in the process of giving
itself. The freedom to express this deep
a love requires dedication. It requires commitment. How can I truly open up myself, if I am to be
ridiculed, or face rejection by someone who may decide to leave me for
something better? How can I give 100% of
my heart, my body, and my soul to someone who is only here ‘for a while’? How can I split my heart between so many
others? The freedom to experience
incredible sex beyond what we understand to be simply ‘good’ begins with
KNOWING your partner is truly yours, not just for now, but forever. It removes the impediments to being
vulnerable, and makes real intimacy possible.
Does anyone doubt that when Adam and Eve are known in again Heaven that
they will not be together as before – as husband and wife? Does it seem reasonable that after creating
the first family unit BEFORE sin, that upon re-entering perfection, God would
break-up the very thing He created? Why
do Christians teach that Heaven is for non-sexuals, when God created us
otherwise in the first place? It is not
logical, practical, or likely.
Incredible sex then, is something God intended for us. He actually wants us to enjoy sex the way He
intended it for us, as the ultimate expression of intimacy between 2 eternally
committed people (a man and a woman). In
this construct, we are free from fear, we are able to share ourselves on the
deepest of levels, and we finally begin to understand how close God wants to be
with us all. We should have no shame in
this, and should not feel compelled to hide it from God, rather we should be
empowered to ask His blessing over our ‘sex’ life together. In our next post, we will explore a little
about why we seem to have wandered so far from the ideal God setup for us
regarding sex, and how sex supposedly became ‘dirty’. So stay tuned …
No comments:
Post a Comment