The first step in understanding our current conundrum is to
discern the real target of evil as it relates to sex. You see evil is not out to destroy our
ability to have great sex directly, evil is out to destroy our ability to ever
be able to have true intimacy. In order
to cause as much damage to our lives, and misery to our existence as possible,
the first thing evil MUST eliminate is any kind of real support system we might
rely on. If we find ourselves alone, we
become easy prey. If there is no-one in
your life who you can rely upon, to help you, because they love you, and care
about you – then you have no role-model to assume God would be any different,
chances are less you would recognize He is ALWAYS here to help you, and you
would simply try to fight and find the answers you need all by yourself. Again, easy pickings. So be aware, that evil
has always wanted to eliminate intimacy from our thinking and our
reality. Everything evil has done to
‘market’ its counterfeit program for sexual happiness has taken into account
the maximum destruction of intimacy in our lives.
Crap sex, begins by attempting to remove any morality, or
intimacy, from all sexual expression.
The goal here is to transform sexual expression from an act centered on
giving and pleasing a committed partner, into a solitary goal of physical
ejaculation (orgasm). Turn an act of ultimate
intimacy, into a biological issue. The
purported reason this idea gains any traction at all with us, is that we so
want to eliminate any guilt from having sex.
If sex is reduced down to nothing more than a biological
act, with no other real significance, personal orgasm the only
real goal – then doesn’t anything go?
This line of thinking originates from an alternative view of
our origin, namely evolution. People
ascribe the lack of morality, the absence of God, and the natural biological
expression of sexual joy – as nothing more than ‘science’s’ way of insuring the
propagation of the species. Yet the same
people squirm at the idea of people having sex with their children, or their
parents, or their livestock, or their pets – as being morally
unacceptable. Seems a bit of a paradox
to me. If anything goes with respect to
sex, then there should be no societal judgment about how you achieve your
orgasm, or for that matter where. You
eat in public after all, which is another natural biological function without
morality, why would we need to shelter others from our sexual expressions. Anytime, anyplace, under any conditions? Haven’t heard too many atheists or scientists
go this far yet, even though truly absent morality, this is the logical conclusion
to the premise. Under this idea, age and
judgment should not enter into the sexual equation, once old enough to
ejaculate, have at it. And so intimacy is completely abandoned
in this thinking, and empty biological addiction is formed.
The basis of this kind of a marketing campaign has a common
thread – move the attention of the victim to self gratification, then justify
whatever action they take as ‘natural’.
By focusing only on the debate of whether sexual expression is ‘nothing
more’ than simply biology, we gloss over the subtle premise that has crept into
our thinking. Sexual gratification is
all about me. It is MUCH easier then to
see the opposite sex, as mere ‘objects’ to help me achieve orgasm. We reduce
other people, to other things we can use for our
gratification. The interest of self here
overwhelms even the concept of intimacy, and people become conquests. And ‘evil’ feeds this inclination of ours at
every turn. We are surrounded by
advertising to move products through association with sex. The term “sex sells” is true in our
world. It works. It is why we see so much of it around
us. It also propagates the idea that
people are objects we can use for our own enjoyment. This centering or focusing on self as a way
to gain happiness, is in fact the origin of ALL evil. This is how Lucifer was transformed into
Satan. And we already know how the story
of evil ends. What’s more we know that
evil inflicts as much pain as possible along the way, so if this is what evil
promotes – that should ring enough warning bells for us to begin to examine if
we have bought in to any of these lies.
If one engages in ‘casual’ sex, they are transformed over
time, into ‘casual’ people – people without depth or meaning to their
existence. Intimacy suffers at every
heart break. Attempting to express an
ultimate act of intimacy with someone who is not committed to a relationship
with you is truly impossible. The fear
of rejection, and abandonment will at some point win out. Either you will never truly give 100% of
yourself to them, due to your own fears.
Or you will never experience what it is like when someone else gives
100% of themselves to you. If you miss either
element, you get stuck having crap sex.
It may feel good physically, but it will cripple your ability to have
intimacy over time, and leave you incapable of experiencing what God had in
mind for you to have (at least without major help from Him to repair your
emotional wounds).
How else has sex become dirty? One might call it the subtle art of addiction and deprivation. Empty sex, or sexual expression without
meaning is at first very physically appealing, even in a highly traditional
point of view. But over time, and
without any intimacy, a ‘normal’ sexual experience becomes less exciting. Perhaps a change of partner is required to
get the excitement back. This will work
for a while. But then even that is not
enough to maintain the stimulation.
Sexual experimentation is often engaged in, at this point. All the various fetishes, that are supposed
to increase stimulation are explored: lightly at first, but eventually the more
‘depraved’ the act, or scenario, the more the stimulation. Over time, this can even lead to dangerous
sexual behavior like choking off oxygen during sex, having unprotected
high-risk sex for ‘fun’, etc.. The
underlying problem here is one we have touched on before. It starts with a focus on self, and self
gratification. But in addition, it
carries the added burden of being able to adjust our brain chemistry once
again, and cause us to literally become sexual addicts. The chemical addiction of sex is every bit as
real as cocaine, nicotine, or any other mind-altering drug. It’s affects on the brain can be measured,
and treatment for addiction must be sought in order to ‘heal’ from it.
People sometimes struggle with the morality of
masturbation. It would appear on the
upside, that masturbation does not hurt anyone else, it is the safest of all
sexual expression from disease or unwanted pregnancy, and it is better than
destroying intimacy by having other casual, or random sexual encounters. In short the better of two evils maybe. However take a closer look at what occurs during
typical masturbation. The overall goal
again is centered on self, not on others – so it begins with a self-centered
premise, never a good sign. Then most
people either fantasize, or directly look at stimulating materials (i.e. porn)
during masturbation to achieve or increase arousal. Both these fantasies, and this material,
propagate the idea that people are merely things we can use for our own
enjoyment (the destruction of intimacy occurs in our minds, even if not in our
bodies). And lastly, the chemical
responses in our brains are every bit as likely to fall into a pattern of
addictive behavior through this method of fantasy and self-stimulation as they
are through actual experiences. Even the
patterns of depravity can
be seen in the kind of visual stimulation it requires to achieve results over
time. And for people who have entered a
committed relationship with someone, to indulge this type of
self-gratification, robs their partners on a physical and emotional basis. It further robs the victim, by reducing his
inclination to give, and experience real joy, as opposed to centering only on
his own needs.
So within a committed relationship that is sanctioned by God
is there anything related to sexual expression that is ‘off limits’ or
‘evil’? Can even married people have
crap sex? God gave you many abilities of
your body, a full set of senses (sight, sound, smell, taste), an imagination to be
creative, an innate desire for sexual expression, and an unparalleled joy from
giving to others. There may be some
physical activities, or positions, that are not possible for some couples
simply because the body mechanics will not allow for it. There are risks of infection if cleanliness
concepts are not observed. But I see no
morality issues related to sexual expression when confined to an ultimate act
of intimacy between 2 committed people (a husband and wife). I personally do not believe that indulging in
anal sex of any kind is something God had in mind for us to explore. This is purely a personal belief, and if
someone else had a different view, I would be the last person to judge it – it
just stems from a logical viewpoint.
That particular orifice is one of the dirtiest, smelliest, places on a
human body, and therefore to think of it in sexually attractive terms seems a
bit odd – particularly when compared with the perfection located nearby J
The most important point to make here is simply this, God
did not ever make sex to be a ‘dirty’ thing.
God wants you to be completely sexually fulfilled. This is why He outlined the perfect scenario
to achieve sexual fulfillment even before evil entered our world. The farther we stray from this original
design, the more miserable the conditions we find ourselves in. In our next post, we will discuss, another
important creation of His – time off. So
stay tuned …
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