But Niko is different.
Way different than me in many respects.
In our personal lives we could be polar opposites though very good
friends; Niko is extraverted, I am naturally an introvert. Niko will have many friends, I will have few
(by choice). Niko will be the center of
attention, I will avoid the limelight and work behind the scenes to control
it. I know he is no saint, I’m not
nominating him for it. Of course I am no
saint either, and I would say the tarnish on my halo is a bit thicker than his.
But Niko defies the odds.
Maybe that is what it takes to make a marriage work in this day in age –
a gamble that defies the house odds.
Niko works harder than anyone I know (outside of me perhaps). And he is absolutely faithful to his love,
where my track record in this regard has been less than stellar. I make excuses for my variance from true-north,
allowing for the winds of destiny to play a role, or just rely on fate,
fortune, or bravado. Niko needs none of
these things, he only requires his one-love.
This is a level of commitment in a young man I rarely have ever
seen. Most men I know of this age
(myself included) were bent on conquest, not monogamy. I look more like Bill Clinton, he looks more
like Ronald Reagan in this area.
But Niko represents hope.
Not just hope that his marriage will beat the odds of a 50% failure
rate, hope that couples in his generation still value the concept of
marriage. Niko seems to understand more
fully than I ever did at his age the value of faith in someone else. The joy that can be achieved from real
intimacy. The senseless end-game of
conquest, that while only momentarily exciting, leaves nothing of substance in
its wake. How does he get all this and
at his age? Can’t be from my counsel, I
have almost nothing to say on the topic.
Like I said, mine is NOT the example to follow. Yet I have hope that his just might be.
But what about the conflict between Niko’s success and his
personal life, will he be able to balance the two? In my years of leadership I have come to
recognize the talents and abilities in others.
I have been to the top of the mountain, more than once, and I know a
thing or two about who else ‘can’ get there.
Niko is one of those folks. He
has in him, the ability to become an excellent CEO of any company in this
country, including one he may begin on his own.
He has, for lack of a better term, the right stuff. I have also been broke beyond reason, poorer
than dirt, owing my next breath to the mercy of another, more than once. Niko was an excellent friend to me in both
conditions. And I believe should life
introduce to Niko the concept of extreme poverty, he has the strength within
him to weather that storm as well. He
will find a way to balance his career with what is more and truly
important. He is destined to.
I don’t know his bride-to-be Devon too well. I have met her, and she seems like a really
nice person. Given Niko’s adoration of
her, I have to assume the best. What I
do know of Devon is a bit of a paradox.
She will marry tomorrow to a person who will be far different than
normal chance would allow. She is inheriting
a blessing from God, but may not really understand the source of this
blessing. To be a moral person is
good. To be honest, trustworthy,
dependable are all admirable traits – but very often we measure ourselves and
our ‘goodness’ by the relative ‘evil’ we see in others around us. I believe Devon is a good person. I just hope over the course of her lifetime
she begins to become acquainted with the source of all goodness, the source of
all love, the source of all morality.
This would enrich her life beyond what she can even imagine at this
point.
What advice do I have for the happy couple? I think singer/songwriter Jeff Easter put it
best when he commented on marriage that …”he could be right, or he could be
happy. He hasn’t been right in a long time
…” Too often we forget what is
important. People count, Love counts.
The rest is window dressing in castles on the beach. Everything you have in life comes and goes,
but what you value is each other, and what matters is each other. Don’t let the rest of it all, get to
you. Took me all too long to learn this
lesson, and I am learning it still.
So invariably comes the question, when will we hear the
pitter-patter of little feet? Hardly
gotten down the aisle and already we’re looking for babies. I have no idea what his plans are in this
regard, but given my time spent with Niko, I believe the young couple will make
excellent parents. You see, I believe in
the ultimate happiness of Niko and Devon, because the difference between having
a life of regret and having a life of meaning is simple. Learning to know the source of all Good.
Niko is connected with this source. Niko seems to know God, even though he does
not go around trying to convert others, or preach his beliefs. You don’t have to be an evangelist to be a
believer. It is OK to be quite about
what you think, in fact often it is preferable.
It is OK to live your principles rather than talking about them, in fact
often it is preferable. If Niko can make
room for God in his life, and hold to his connection – then nothing and no-one
will deter the plans God can act out on his behalf. Niko is a natural catalyst. With a strong connection to his Father God,
Niko’s natural disposition will be a witness for good that no-one can
silence. This is my hope for one of my
few, very dear friends.
Enjoy your wedding my friend! Enjoy the honey-moon more (p.s. you may
wanna bring my gift with you). And then
sit back, and really enjoy the rest of your married life – you have no idea how
good, good can be. Best wishes always …
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