Biggest Bang for the Buck ...

Once the core of your selfishness has been released to Christ to have Him change it, the question becomes what next? Outside of teaching you to serve others rather than to serve yourself which is going to positively impact your life beyond anything you may imagine to date; I believe the next area to focus on is our relationships. The most important relationship to focus on first is our marriages which should also cover the dating process. This would be followed by our parental relationships, then our families, friendships, and work place associations. When you consider that nothing of value in this world will transcend into the next one except your relationships, it seems to make sense we focus a bit here first.

To quote George Lucas … “You must unlearn what you have learned.” [Yoda, Star Wars Episode 5] This has never been more true than in the interactions and social relationships people have with each other. It begins with recognizing the true value of the individual. You are unique. You were created with a specific purpose in mind by a God who praises infinite variety. Your purpose may have many layers – something for this world, for the place in which you work, in your home life, and in the next Kingdom God as designed. But your purpose is unique to you, not just now but for all time. Therefore the loss of you, is a loss to the entire universe, and for all time. It does not mean that God’s plans will not go forward, they will. But your role will never quite be duplicated within them. You remain unique.

When you understand that each soul has a special purpose as ordained by God, then you begin to appreciate just how precious each life is. When looking to first form relationships with others, it is important to begin by understanding that this person you intend to interact with, has an equally important role in God’s work, is equally loved by God, and is equally critical to the family of God as yourself. Just as God compared our body to His church, so people can have radically different perspectives, talents, skills, and abilities – and NONE are any less important than another. Your eye and your ear for example share little, but you could not exist as well without each of them. They are both precious despite their seeming to have nothing in common with each other except improving your own life.

Respecting differences then is the first step towards having successful social interactions. Often men in relationships will dismiss differences with a potential dating partner or spouse as unimportant. But these differences make up the person you are interested in. They are in fact important, because without them, the object of your intentions would not be who you are drawn to. Women conversely dismiss differences as if on a checklist of “things to change” once they settle down with this man. Enlightened women understand there is no Mr. Right, or perhaps Mr. Perfect, but falsely believe he can still be built from Mr. Right Here and Right Now. He cannot. Perfection is not built by the nagging or encouragement of a woman, nor can Perfection be defined by one. Perfection begins once the will is submitted to Christ, and only then does one have anything to offer in a relationship with another.

Having learned to accept the differences we encounter with each other, we must begin to redefine what Love means in a relationship. Valuing another human being means they cannot be treated as mere objects, or possessions. Evil has fostered the idea that another person can be a mere plaything. You can trifle with someone’s emotions in order to get from the relationship whatever it is that you want. This objectification of the human species tears our value down from its core. If allowed to infect our thinking, it keeps us from ever understanding what true intimacy means and has to offer us. It makes us willing tools in the destruction of ourselves and of others. And it makes us wholly unfit to have or maintain any meaningful relationships with nearly anyone. People can simply not be treated like packages on the shelf at Walmart.

To love someone, is to give to someone. It is to act in that person’s interests above your own. It is to find joy in the giving, not in the taking. It is to care about the needs, interests, feelings, and well being of someone else ahead of every other competing desire of your own. When you love someone, you want that person to be happy. You will spend every waking minute trying to figure out new ways of making that person happy. And in so doing, you will find the greatest of contentment you have ever experienced. This is how our God loves us. This is what our God does for us. If our God is love, then this is what the example of our God and of love is to us. Not mere words, not mere feelings, not mere hormonal attractions that can fade with age – but daily meaning actions that demonstrate the desires of the heart.

Some have said that love is pain. This is untrue. It is the lack of love that brings pain. It is the rejection of love that causes heartache and suffering. But the embracing of love as a freewill choice between two people can bring more happiness than ever dreamed possible. Why two people? - Because it is nearly exhausting to respect the differences in another, and to try to find ways of making them happy in an imperfect world. Achieving unity with just one other person can be a life’s work. To add a third party to the unity quest is to make it virtually impossible to find. Our differences are vast, and the effort it takes to respect them, and perhaps even to embrace them, is no small self-sacrifice. But the level of intimacy that can be achieved can be life altering. And though love rejected can feel like a sharp stick through the heart, it can also reveal the true nature of what we call love for another. For if we truly love someone else, we would desire their happiness above our own, even if it means we will not be the one to make them happy. This may be a painful acknowledgement, but it means we know what love is, and someone else will one day be the beneficiary of this knowledge. We can only hope as much for those we wish well as they depart from us.

With these prerequisites in mind we are ready to discuss dating …

Dark Side of the Force ...

Yes the next installment of the Star Wars saga was released today albeit in animated format.  Critics will muse this may not be George Lucas’ best work, fans may see it regardless.  But I was wondering if perhaps in no small way, George has captured the imagination of believers and non-believers alike in his saga related to the all powerful Force.  The story (again only fiction) claims a sort of kinetic invisible living force binds all creatures together, working both in cooperation with and sometimes in control of our motions, thoughts and actions.  Those that deny any form of deity are merely entertained by this superstitious notion.  Those that believe in a creator God, are they entertained, or do they perhaps believe in some way this may even be true?

An older comedian Flip Wilson’s famous line was … “the Devil made me do it”.  Always used in satirical presentations and for humorous effect, his audience understood the message.  There are times when people take actions in the real world, that they blame on influence that comes from the supernatural world – both for positive and negative results.  Killers have sometimes claimed possession for their actions.  Healers sometimes say they “feel” the power moving through them.  There are documented cases of exorcisms that the Catholic church has done over the years, though skepticism by the mainstream masses remains high.  To admit there is a Devil, is to acknowledge there is a God.  Mediums have long claimed to have ‘spirits’ inhabit their physical bodies.  Is this what Lucas may be referring to in his fictional tales?  Could he be trying to define an outside-of-body force that somewhat controls our destiny?

On a very profound level even the plan of Salvation we have discussed in this blog seems to indicate you have no real control over your life.  You have but to choose your master – either evil or good – either Satan or Christ.  Once your choice is made, your destiny seems to be laid out in front of you.  Your biggest worry even then, merely changing your mind about who you choose to serve.  When you choose Christ, you seem to be yielding up control to Him.  In order to effect real change in your behavior He must have the ability to change how you think.  To impact your basic desires, likes and dislikes, becomes a prerequisite to meaningful change in your character.  When you yield your decisions, your thinking, and even your likes and dislikes to Christ, He makes real progress transforming your character.  The core of who you are is molded into His image.  This is part of the gift He offers you, and quite necessary if you are to escape the bondage of sin, and get past the addictions you suffer from.

When you do not choose Christ, you make a default decision to choose evil.  There is but one escape from evil, that is to choose the protection of Christ.  A non-choice then, is a toleration of the conditions you find yourself in – a denial that evil is in charge of your life – and therefore a tacit acceptance of evil as your current master.  Non believers do not accept this premise.  As always they believe there are no outside influences in life that you must choose between.  And frankly evil wishes for this myth to continue.  Were the true nature of evil to be put in the spotlight, no-one would consciously choose it.  The biggest myth put forward to the human race has always been one of self-reliance and self-destiny.  But the truth remains, as evil remains in the world – you have only to look around you and you can find it everywhere.  If man (un-influenced by any external evil force) were truly in control of his own thinking and choices, why would evil continue to remain in the world?

And once under the influence of evil, is it ever really possible to make right choices?  Knowing the truth and turning away from it, or perhaps denying the truth altogether – what basis is that for performing good actions, making good decisions, or ever serving others?  While there may not be an all powerful kinetic invisible force that controls our lives and destinies, the truth of the influence of evil is unmistakable. 

Look at it another way.  Would Ted Bundy, or Jeffrey Dalhmer ever have made the series of decisions and actions they made without any evil influence in the world?  It is easy to dismiss them as crazy but think about the depravity of what they did.  The level of pain they inflicted on others in a one-on-one setting; killing sometimes without guns but with sharp instruments; torture – this kind of sickness is beyond the scope of most ‘normal’ people.  To actually take another human life is traumatic enough, but to systemically or randomly continue this action is pure evil.  This is the sort of behavior that defines evil.  Do we truly believe these men were free of outside influence? 

One characteristic of evil is the nature of its insatiability.  It is never satisfied, always hungry.  While good dwells on emotions like contentment, fulfillment, meaning, and service – evil dwells on greed, hunger, excess, and a preoccupation with self.  Lest you believe only murder defines the influence of evil, look at Enron.  Greed in the cases of corporate fraud of recent years seems to have no limit as well.  No matter how many millions these executives had, no matter how many homes, or cars, or goods – the quest for more could not be stopped.  The lives they crushed along the way were mere collateral damage.  After all, it is war to make money, all is fair in war, right?

Lest you think an outside force could not control your physical being, you need only to read the stories of the demoniacs in the Bible.  They were ‘compelled’ to take actions no one could understand.  Unseen influences can interact with the real world.  So could George Lucas be on to something here, even if only by accident?  The biggest problem with his vision of the Force is its lack of character.  In his movies, the Force is painted as fairly benign, with good or evil capabilities.  He puts control in the hands of the human (or intelligent being), to decide which avenue of the Force to explore.  He does talk about the domination of one’s destiny, but seems to have the small choices waiver back and forth from good to evil (at least in the character of the main hero/villain).  Is this the story of us?

Do we treat the outside influences of the universe, beyond our sight, as something to be trifled with?  Do we make God or Satan mere playthings to explore when we have interest?  I hope not.  While I do not believe in a singular all powerful invisible Force, I do believe in 2 beings of powerful natures.  One being is my creator God, who sacrificed Himself to save me from the other unseen being, the father of all evil.  While I may be unable to defeat evil, my creator is more than capable.  I willingly choose to follow my God.  I gladly accept the gift He offers.  I rejoice in the fact that He saved me, from myself, from evil, from death itself.  In His plan for my salvation, I take great comfort.  While I may find some momentary entertainment value in watching a Star Wars saga movie, I am also cognizant of the constant attacks and ever looming presence of a truly Dark Force – and I am comforted that my God, has already defeated it for me.