It is interesting to me that our culture embraces the idea
of “New Year’s Resolutions” as if they had any merit at all. A careful self examination of any past
self-declared resolution, would likely find it was abandoned within the first
few weeks of the new year itself. A few
last through the first quarter. Some
diehards make it into the 2nd or 3rd quarter. But almost no-one on New Year’s Eve can categorically
state strict adherence to last year’s resolution. In fact, most people can hardly remember last
year’s resolution, unless they intend to use it again this coming year. But despite the facts, we continue to embrace
the process over and over and over again.
The funny thing about a New Year’s resolution is that once
you blow it, you’ve blown it. The
calendar date only moves forward one day in 365, so if you give up on a
resolution, it takes quite a few days before you can make another New Year’s
declaration. And that is pretty much how
society treats these statements. I think
they are meant to inspire us, to try harder to improve ourselves or our
community in the coming year; or perhaps to remind us of what we did not finish
in the last year. I guess the feelings
are positive while we make them. The
intentions seem to be affirmative.
But isn’t that all a load of hooey (note the extreme
language – hooey being heretofore defined as cattle excrement in large
quantity)? We all know full well, we are
not going to end the year having kept our resolution. We may not enjoy admitting it, but history is
prologue. Our record on keeping promises
and resolutions is dim at best. Dads try
real hard to keep a promise to their children, but sometimes life or a boss has
other plans. Moms try real hard to keep
promises to their families, but the unexpected can certainly throw a wrench
into that process. Even special
occasions like New Years do not impact our ability to follow through on our
promises.
Is it that we over-commit perhaps? We pledge more than we expect to be able to
perform (again in order to inspire us to shoot for the stars). Or do we consider “circumstances” as viable
disclaimers to our intentions of good will?
And yet what is the impact of our lack of follow through on the
resolutions we declare? The world does
not stop revolving. Life goes on. The planets align as they should. No cataclysm.
No catastrophe. Nothing really
bad happens when we do not actually follow through on the good works we planned
to do. But then again, nothing gets
better either. It is the lack of
improvement that is the invisible catastrophe in our inevitable malaise. We do not realize what it is we are
missing. Poor, blind, naked … comes to
mind.
But if our intentions are truly good, and motivated to do
good, then isn’t that in itself enough?
Isn’t the point of this process to inspire good thoughts within us, and
to help us to look for things that could be improved? But if so, then seeing without doing is of
what value? Yet none of us seems to
languish in guilt over broken annual commitments to make our world a better
place. I never hear a single person
making a new resolution, consumed in guilt over losing the last one. It is rarer still to hear a success story of
a resolution either. Does this make us
sociopaths? I doubt it. But it does give a clear indication of how
much we expect the success we are willing to commit to. And rightly so.
Christ said it best.
“Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ mean ‘no’.” The idea of making verbal commitments beyond
a simple answer is meaningless. If you
do not have absolute control, you cannot make absolute commitments. Since almost every bit of life is beyond your
control, your promises of any kind are simple vanity. You commit to mark your intentions, but not
your reality. And yes, this affects a
great many things beyond simple New Year’s resolutions. It includes the promises we make to our
children; the promises we make to each other, like a marital vow for instance;
and even more disturbing the promises we make to ourselves.
So does this mean we should not swear to anything, or make
any promises or verbal commitments?
Sounds like it, but if you look closely enough there is more the
story. Take a marriage vow for example;
we make all these commitments to each other, yet 50% of us end our marriages
completely, and even those who survive often do so because of forgiving the
breakage of vows of our partners. Not
promising, and not committing, does not lessen our obligations or more
importantly our intentions in the process, so what is the answer? How about recognizing what does last? How about seeing what is eternal and
unchanging and making commitments based on Him.
What if the promise I made to my wife began as follows: “It is my clear intention to honor you as my
wife, to love and serve only you for the remainder of my life, to be with you
both in this world and the world to come – so I recommit myself to my Lord and
Savior, and I trust to His strength to see my intentions become reality. I pledge now and always to take our struggles
to Him, to employ His forgiveness when we both fall, and to embrace His
redemptive power to change what must be changed within me to truly be your
husband.” In so humbling myself before
my wife and my God, I place my words in His hands for fulfillment – A God who
has NEVER failed me or anyone I know. My
commitment now extends beyond the boundaries of even our life on this planet,
as God is eternal, so is the intention of my marriage. If I am looking for death to cut my bonds, I
must ask myself why. When we say we want
to be together forever, do we truly mean it?
This kind of vow has that potential.
My promise only has merit when based on my humility in
accepting God as my guarantor. Where my
words cannot be backed with control, His grace is able to overcome any obstacle
the world may present. Even my commitment
to my God, must be backed with the strength of my God to see it last and not
rely on me in any way. All my promises
must be made this way. Some have
shortened this idea to the phrase “God willing”. But this over-simplifies what it is we are
saying and negates what we should truly feel when committing before God. It is not God’s willingness that affects our
abilities to keep our commitments, it is our trust in Him that does so. Letting God lead. Allowing God to change us, mold us, and
recreate our very thoughts in His own image.
This rebirth is our only surety.
It does not make our words any stronger.
It does not make us more faithful.
It acknowledges that He alone is faithful. It is a testament to all who know us, and who
hear us commit in this way, that we know our own unworthiness and therefore
trust completely in the faithfulness of our God. His strength.
His ability. His love.
When we learn to think this way, New Beginnings can happen
all the time. We do not need to wait for
New Year’s Eve, a birthday, or some other special occasion in order to mark
what our lives will be like going forward.
And what is more, when commitments are made in this way, they last. For it is not us that sees to their
fulfillment, it is our God that does. We
are effectively giving God the carte blanche He needs in our lives to keep us moving
forward. He is able to remind us, to
inspire us, to alter our perceptions, increase our abilities, and provide us
with the motivation we need to complete the works He sets before us.
As this process increases, we promise less and less. It is not our fear of commitment that deters
us, but the realization that God must lead and not us. We become more content to follow than to
strike out on our own. This is how it
should be. It is our pride that must be
killed in order for humility to truly be born in us. As our own self interest disintegrates,
selfless service is put in its place.
Becoming changed is a process that begins as soon as we let it. It was designed this way. No need to wait for heaven to start. No need to postpone freedom from the
self-inflicted-pain we call evil. The
time to begin is now. Success is not in
our hands, and so therefore is a surety from our God. Will you join me in humbly accepting His gift
to us? …
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