Friday, September 11, 2009

Honoring Mom ...


One precept in the Bible important enough to make the top 10 list by God was the idea of ‘honoring your father and mother …’  Of course in our world today, we seem to understand little of the idea of ‘honoring’ anything and therefore have reduced this commandment down to – have some general respect for your elders – and you have it covered.  So are we off the hook (i.e. compliant)?  Or like so many other precepts in the word, have we totally missed the point and lost sight of the motive behind the mandate?

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day here in America, another Hallmark institution designed to ‘honor’ mom and sell greeting cards.  Outside of her birthday, mom’s rarely get this kind of attention throughout the year.  Let’s face it Christmas, and anniversaries are mutual holidays where mom’s giving skills are equally employed with her receiving skills.  But for her birthday, and perhaps on this manufactured holiday, we give mom some long overdue credit for just being a mom.  Just the idea that mom may deserve some credit is interesting to me.  Could it be that we use this occasion to call to remembrance the infinite number of times mom has sacrificed her own well being and interests for us?  Could it be in our normally self-obsessed and self-interested world, we pause briefly to acknowledge that our mom may have given up a few of her own dreams to insure ours were possible?

Of course all these sentiments could equally be expressed for dad on his day as well.  So I am not trying to say either parent deserves or doesn’t any less attention than the other.  But I find it interesting how we view our mothers, and how often we think of them as saints for their seemingly tireless efforts on our behalf, and their willingness to sacrifice for us.  The most famous mother of all time seems to have been Mary, the mother of Christ.  A young, devoted, pure bride whose burden it was to carry our Lord while still a virgin.  Christians have faith to accept this premise.  The entire rest of the world does not.  She was ridiculed by her own, and since then, decried as nothing more than another out-of-wedlock teen who got caught in her own illicit behavior.  Ironic the unwarranted shame that would be expected for her to bare.  Yet she should feel none.  Also ironic that Mary quickly achieves saint-hood in the eyes of the Christian church for not much more than simply being the mom of Christ.  While Joseph on the other hand barely gets a mention.  The surrogate earthly father of Christ lives and dies a righteous life in relative obscurity while his more famous mate lives on in sculpture, paintings, and sermon topics.

Perhaps the second most famous mom on earth is Mother Teresa of India.  Here was another woman who while having no children of her own, was the adopted mother of millions of orphans.  Her fame spread far and wide for the sake of her work.  After her death, her doubts and humanity came to view, but her work remains unquestioned.  What is the lesson of these mom’s?  Does God offer us mothers to teach us how willing He is to sacrifice His own well being for our interests?  Can Christ be anything but the supreme example of self sacrifice for us?

What about the bond between mother and child, what lessons are to be learned there.  We watch the momma duck walking towards the water‘s edge with each baby duckling walking in a line behind her.  She has only to quack at a certain tone and a certain volume and her chicks will gather close around her struggling to get under her wings.  So with us, our very young struggle to be close and feel safe near their mother’s.  Our court systems have long deferred to the idea that mother’s seem uniquely suited to put the needs of their children ahead of their own.  Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but in general this idea has proven true for years.  Men and Fathers tend to be more practical, and while they will sacrifice for their families, they tend to be more big-picture than tuned to the needs of the individual child.  Mom’s tend to tune-in there.  Does the bond between mom and child also represent the bond God wants between each of us and Him?  Does the very inspiration to sacrifice and preserve the specie itself originate in the heart of a creator God who Himself gives all for His creations?

So what do we truly owe our mothers beyond our existence?  Giving birth was her choice after all not ours, so it seems we owe little for that.  But the care for us, the love for us, the concern for us, and the sacrifice for us – how do we go about repaying that?  It might begin with the realization that indeed our moms owe us NOTHING.  Wait a minute you say, having children comes with responsibilities.  You can’t just produce kids and have nothing to do with them afterwards.  Really?  OK you should not produce them and have nothing to do with them.

A child of choice and a child of accident may face different parental reactions.  And while we reasonably expect a parent to bare the responsibilities of having a child – responsibility hardly is the right term to measure the depth of love most mother’s show to their children.  The sacrifice most mom’s make on behalf of their children could hardly be put under the term responsibility from any other perspective than that of a completely selfish child.  Mom’s give and give and give because they love.  So it is with God.  He gives to us because He loves.  The child may not seem worthy of the gifts he is given in our eyes, by his mom, or by his God – but worthiness is not the reason gifts are extended – love is.  God gives even more than mom gives – because He loves.

Ever wonder what it is like to face an angry lioness in the wild?  Attack a child in the presence of it’s mother, and you will witness this simulation.  There is a reason why the metaphor of lioness is used when discussing the defensive posture or nature of a mother with her child.  Mom’s seem to be able to summon super-human strength, speed, and agility when it comes to defending their young.  It is not so much that their physical prowess is intimidating to an intruder, but the tenacity in their eyes, and the determination in their hearts can frighten the largest assailant.  Now extrapolate this lesson to God.  God who tenderly sees all of us as His children, the treasures of His eyes; Those who would dare to attack his little ones face not just an angry determined woman – but the God of an entire universe with unlimited power, strength, and determination.  The instinct to protect that a mom feels begins in the heart of her creator God.

What does it mean then to honor mom or dad?  Perhaps it means recognizing our own unworthiness, and the gifts we have been given in spite of it.  Perhaps similar to how our salvation works, our parents give us unconditional love, acceptance, protection, and care.  We did not ask for this as babies, in fact, we were incapable of asking for this as babies – but it was given not because of how much we loved – but because of how much our parents loved.  Despite the imperfections of humanity, we have an example of what it means to love someone with regards to self.  We have an example of what it means to care for someone who may or may not be able to acknowledge the extent of your gift.  The younger the child, the more the care required, and the less the recognition they are able to discern of it.

What does it mean to honor mom or dad?  Maybe it means that as we grow older and as our parents lose their status as being at the top-of-their-game due to age – that we become the patient care givers.  Maybe it means that we begin to forego some of our dreams or ambitions for the sake of care for an elder.  Perhaps it means that we return some of the unconditional love that forgives a parent’s mistakes and remembers only their love.  Perhaps to honor our parents is to remember how much MORE than responsibility was their gift to us.  Perhaps to truly honor their sacrifice is to strive to become worthy of it.  To be people who are able to give to others even when it means inconvenience to self.  This is the lesson of a mom.

No matter what the family structure, no matter how traditional or untraditional a family may choose to be, there is always a place for mom.  To that person in your life who loves you, cares for you, raised you from your youth – to that person you should add your blessing.  A recognition, and a thanks, even on a manufactured holiday, seems little enough for the enormity of what they have done.  If you wish to honor them, move beyond greeting cards, frequent hugs, and constant well wishes – become a person of sacrifice yourself.  In this way, your days will not only be long in the land in which the Lord gives you, in addition your days will be worth living in His land.  A life of love is a life of happiness…


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