What interests me more than the sadness we all feel when
someone leaves this mortal plain, is the human tendancy to revise how we feel
about them now that they are “gone”. It
is a characteristic almost universally employed to edit ourselves when speaking
of the departed. We tend to show them
more mercy. We tend to speak about them
with less negatives, and focus our conversations more around their positive
contributions. When someone passes away
who we think “deserved it”, rather than punch up the positives, we simply do
not speak about them at all. It seems in
death, even our enemies get some level of reprieve from us.
But why are we generally so much kinder to those who are now
unable to appreciate our kindness? Why
is it we only seem to grant mercy to those who are beyond our ability to
receive it? I wonder if it is easier to
show love to those who are unable to return it, than to risk showing love to
those who may wish to reject it. But
isn’t this the basis for almost all important regret in our lives? We regret far less the things we did not do,
than the sentiments we did not convey to those we love. Those family members, or close friends we
have lost, would we not all wish for at least one more day with them, to tell
them how we really felt; to say goodbye better than we did, or perhaps at
all. Yet this lesson goes unlearned with
those we still see every day.
It is as if we speak about the dead in only favorable terms,
citing all the good they accomplished, in order to convince God that this
person was a good candidate for heaven.
Or maybe, more to the point, to convince ourselves that despite our own
evil, we may still be spoken of well, once we pass on. Though the sum of a person’s deeds has no
bearing at all on where their final disposition will be. It only matters whether they had accepted
God’s outstretched gift for them or not.
Their deeds, whether seemingly good, or seemingly evil, do not matter against
that all important question.
Do we whitewash our memories of the dead the same way we do
our speech? While alive, Michael Jackson
was strongly criticized regarding his skin color (was it truly a disease or did
he just pay to get it that way), he was condemned by many for the allegations
of child molestation (multiple accusations, most resolved with mega-payments
and silence), and for his continued relevance as a performer (for which his
comeback tour was scheduled to try to change this perception once again). To say he was controversial was an
understatement. Now dead, the most
common tag line associated with him, is the profound self-examination he penned
… “man in the mirror”. Mike did much to
bring black music into the mainstream, and donated tons of money to various
charities. He was generous, talented,
and reserved. All of this was true
during his life, but only since his death, do we focus on it to the exclusion of
all the former controversy.
This week it was Ted Kennedy who fell, losing his battle
with brain cancer. While alive his
foibles always accompanied any interview he gave, or any perception offered of
him by the pundits. You could not talk
about educational reform legislation, or health care reform without mentioning
Ted Kennedy. This would be followed
closely by his history of drinking too much, womanizing, or his greatest folly
Chappaquiddick. His silence during the
Anita Hill hearings on sexual harassment was deafening (I presume a subject too
close to home). But for all his foibles,
indeed for all his human weakness, his accomplishments and more importantly to
me his pursuits are worthy of his title – Lion of the Senate. He fought for the poor, the disenfranchised,
and those in need. I remember another
lion in history with similar concerns who may well have been his example on
these fronts.
It is not that I choose to ignore all the mistakes Ted made
in his life. I acknowledge them. We are ALL plagued by the weakness and
addictive power that evil would hold over us.
But despite what may be the evil in our very nature, Ted took a stand
for those who had no other advocate. It
is NOT popular to fight for the poor in our society. The very nature of special interests is to
use money to obtain favor. The poor have
none. It is the very nature of power to
subject those less fortunate into increasing the power of those who hold
it. The poor have no power, they are in
fact, those who are subjected.
Ted fought for the poor.
He fought to improve their education and thus give them hope for a
brighter future. He fought to bring them
health care, and therefore liberate them from the working slavery of being
bound to insurance companies to cover the costs of unplanned catastrophe in our
lives. Ted did something that was truly
not in his own personal interests, but in the interests of those who had the
greatest of needs. In this alone I
believe he earned his title. A lion who
fought to protect, who roared against the status quo, and the silent bigotry
that chooses to ignore the poor, or make their conditions even worse. Ted was a singular force, pricking the
conscience of those who stood with him in the Senate to remember their charge –
to represent those back home who have no other voice. This is the legacy of the lion I will
remember most.
This is the beauty of our humanity. We do not need to have achieved perfection to
make an impact on our world. Ted was far
from perfect. There are a million things
you could accuse him of, most would be true.
He was not a saint. But in his
life, he periodically took up the banner of the saints, and did what was not
only right, it was remarkable. Though
far from perfection of his character, he took up the battle of perfection, and
waged war to benefit those with the greatest of needs. I admire him, for not just succumbing to his
lower nature, for not just throwing in the towel on himself, but for choosing
to fight on despite any personal failures.
While he was not a perfect vessel, the fight for the poor, is the very
example of the life of Christ Himself.
We should ALL be remembered as such.
God looks for those who are willing to follow Him. He looks for those who will allow His values
to penetrate their hearts, and minds, and very existence. He looks to inspire passion for helping
others back into our nature. So few heed
His calls. So many fall to expediency
and the pursuit of wealth. So many
choose the easy path. But I would rather
be numbered with Ted, and with David, and with Moses. None of them perfect, but all of them used by
God to accomplish great things. I feel a
great loss with the passing of Ted Kennedy, not for myself, but for everyone
who like me has no more an advocate in government. He was not the senator from my state, but was
every bit my senator. He stood for me,
and stood up for me. I only hope that
when my life is ended, my legacy will include not only all the evil I have
embraced, but a record of striving for others, and the mercy of the God who
loved even me …
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