Not every sin is child abuse, that is certain. There are many others. But they all share a common theme, a common
thread, it is the indulgence of self, or self-love, at the expense of others. Even something as seemingly innocuous as
pride; pride only make me feel good about me, about who I am. But in that good feeling is hidden a change
about how I feel about others. For I
cannot feel better about me, without in some small degree feel less impressed
with you. It is the start of the nurture
of self-love, at the expense of love-of-others.
Think about it, Satan was not always Satan, he started his existence as
Lucifer, content to love others and trusted with the highest position outside
of the Godhead in the universe. All it
took was simple pride to begin his journey of self-love that would literally
turn Lucifer into Satan over time. It is
no different for us.
And so the quest to make myself happy begins through any
number of self-indulgences to experience.
And perhaps the expense to others is small in the beginning. But then two other characteristics about sin
(all sin) begin to emerge. Sin is not
constructed of singular incidents (as Satan would have you believe), it is
instead a roadway that leads you on a journey ever downward. What begins as an ever so small
self-indulgence grows greater and greater, until the damage to you and others
is larger than you would like to admit, or think about. It is a pathway of degradation. It is a de-evolving of a righteous state into
a wicked one that is nearly imperceptible as it happens. If you saw the end of the pathway, or perhaps
even how far you have already sunk, you might seek a way to escape it. But then your attention is instead focused on
you, not on the damage you do to you, or others. And once you begin to realize this phenomenon
you discover the remaining common theme of sin, it is built upon the model of
addiction, to in all effects make you powerless to stop. Once an addict, you will never be free of
it. Only then do you discover you must
be made free, or freedom will be lost to you forever.
Sex was made by God.
He created the physiological constructs in the bodies of men and
women. He added the biochemical
reactions that take place in the brain and in the body. But this gift was meant for a specific
purpose, under a specific set of conditions.
Chiefly, to understand how two independent people might truly become one
flesh through the committing of themselves one to another forevermore. Only in that union could the act of
pro-creation ever be possible. Only in
that state of pure vulnerability could one learn to trust their own heart,
mind, and life into the hands of another.
That is intimacy. That is
trust. That is sealed by our God Himself
and blessed by Him. Sex itself is not
bad, or evil, or something to in any way be ashamed of. No, sex as God designed it, is a higher state
of purity than language is able to express.
And it is supposed to be an indicator of the union between a husband and
wife, that would cause them to leave all others and seek first the
companionship of each other no matter what the world tries to counteroffer in
its place. Done in this light, sex leads
us ever closer the very throne of God, to a heaven created with homes for the
privacy we prefer to be one with each other.
But pull sex out of this context, pull it away from the
plans of God, and what was once holy becomes inevitably marred, degraded, and
perverted. The bio-chemical responses
that were meant for holiness become perverted into everything but that which is
holy. Evil takes hold. And as we just expressed, there is no end to
the pathway downward of evil. No man,
and no woman is immune. Expressions may
be varied, destinations may differ, but the common destructive elements exist
within every sinner to degrade further and further until all sense of morality
is abandoned on the altar of self-love. It
is then when the sad truth emerges. That
any one of us is capable of the horrific.
That any one of us is capable (even if we think it far from possible
right now), of walking a roadway ever downward that ends in the abuse of
others, at the worst of that road, at the abuse of children. So many would pull away at this idea and
state it could “never” be them, that perhaps they would kill themselves before
that happened. For some, degradation
moves to a different destination. But
damage still follows. And while it seems
incomprehensible, without the grace of God, and His active work of salvation in
your life – you too are capable of the most horrific acts you cannot even
conceive of at the moment.
Luke in his gospel letter to his friend Theophilus about
what we believe and why, offers the prophetic words of Jesus Christ Himself on
this very topic in the seventeenth chapter.
Picking up in verse 1 it begins … “Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto
him, through whom they come! [verse 2] It were
better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into
the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.” As this passage starts out, one might think
Jesus was talking about His own betrayal by Judas. But as usual, Jesus is not thinking about
Himself. He is thinking about others, in
this case about the little toddlers, babies, and children He is continually
surrounded by. Jesus knows that not all
of them will return to safe home, or have safe lives. Jesus knows where sin leads (all sin).
He knows that in our quest to amuse ourselves, that wealth
and privilege will only make our degradation worse until we lose all sense of
morality. Until others become only
playthings for our amusement. Until even
little children are seen as objects of sexual conquest. Until our brains can become that mis-wired as
we reject His transformative work in our lives.
And because the indulgence of any sin, has the potential to end us in
the darkest places, Jesus points out the inevitability of pursuing such
pathways downward. Jesus says it is
“impossible” but that offenses will come.
There are those who will simply sin, no matter how dark they become, or
how much damage they inflict. Their
addictions will ever drive them further, until their animal pursuits degrade
well past anything seen in the kingdom of animals. Addicts to darkness and wickedness. This is the end-roads of all sin, of any sin,
in any one of us.
But Jesus says, we should consider an alternative to dishing
out abuse. It would be better for us, if
we are to reject His salvation, and choose to abuse little children – that
instead we tie a heavy piece of concrete millstone around our necks and throw
ourselves into the sea. We would die,
death by suicide. Suicide too, is
considered a sin, but Jesus states in this instance, we would be making better
use of our lives to die, than cause the kind of damage that comes from the
abuse of children. This should tell us
several things. First, how much Jesus
cares about little children, and would wish NO harm ever came their way. Second, that suicide is better than abuse in
this kind of situation. And finally, the
most horrific of lessons, that all sin, that any sin, is capable of starting
you on a journey downward that could lead you to a point of not only
contemplating a sin like this one, but of acting on it. No man, no woman, immune – all of us just at
varying points on our journeys either downwards or upwards depending upon
whether we embrace the salvation Jesus offers or not. This is the hardest of all lessons, and the
one most Christians fail to admit and find themselves suffering from as a
result.
Jesus then takes a minute to explain to us, how salvation
from such a thing, even as evil as this, could still be within our grasp. He continues in verse 3 saying … “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against
thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. [verse 4] And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and
seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive
him.” Imagine how hard this
admonition is for those of use who are mere mortals. If your spouse betrays you, and repents, you
are to forgive them. Accomplishing this
single feat could involve months of time, tons of prayer, even grief and
depression from the pain it would cause.
So to get over it once, would be the hardest hill you will ever climb in
your life. But wait. Jesus says if they did this seven times a
day, and seven times asked forgiveness, we are to grant that forgiveness. I don’t know about you, but once seems like a
weakness. Twice looks like a
pattern. Three times looks like behavior
to me. By the time you get to seven
times, you are describing the actions of a full-blown addict. And despite this, Jesus says forgive the
addict. Does that lessen the pain they
cause? no. Does it undo the betrayal, or
damage? no. But it is the very nature of
salvation that Jesus does exactly this for each of us, each and every day, and
his limit for forgiveness exceeds seven times, it is more than sufficient to
meet our degradation. Even at our lowest
point. It is as if Jesus is saying, I
can save even the addicts among you who have lost all hope of repair. I can redeem even you, and put you on a
different road. Take it to Jesus. Take the pain to Jesus. Find the hope in Jesus. Nestle the commitments in the strength of
Jesus. That works, nothing else does.
But can you believe this could work, even for you, even for
the worst person you know? What would
you need, in order to believe this was possible? Perhaps a faith greater than what you have
today. Jesus knows your need. He continues in verse 5 saying … “And the
apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith. [verse 6] And the Lord
said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard
seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and
be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.” The disciples heard this saying of
forgiveness, and immediately connected the dots. They would need more faith to be able to do
this. They would need more faith to be
able to believe it could even be done.
So they ask for it. Jesus then
informs them as to the power of faith, how that even the smallest grain of
faith, is capable of doing that which is IMPOSSIBLE to do. This means a spouse can forgive an
innumerable number of betrayals but only through the love and power of Jesus
Christ. Through a faith that is grounded
in His love and emulates His salvation for us all. It means that even a victim of child abuse is
able to forgive the abuser, but ONLY through the love and power of Jesus
Christ. These things are impossible on
our own. It would be stupid to even try
them of our own power and strength. We
would fail. But with faith in the power
of Jesus to save us. We can forgive
through His strength, and only through His.
It is beyond distasteful to us to think our own sin could
lead to such a dark place, that we might require this kind of forgiveness from
God at the very least, in order to be saved.
We like to think of our own sin, as nothing even remotely as bad, as
what the adulterer or worse the abuser, has perpetrated. We like to think of ourselves as “good”
people. But in this we self-deceive, for
our evil knows no boundaries outside of the grace and forgiveness of Jesus
Christ. And our evil is not a singular
sin from which we need repentance, but a series of sins, that seem to repeat as
often as minutes in the day. We are
addicts to our evil. Even if that evil
is simple pride, or “harmless” gossip, or gluttony to excess. And Jesus knows we are already addicted and
spiraling doward. It is only in this
context that we can answer that earlier question about where God was when abuse
took place. God was crying, with a
broken heart, for both victim and harder to swallow for us, the perpetrators –
longing to save us from ourselves, from our addictions, from our journeys
downward that will one day lead us to our very real destruction. God was begging us to look up. God was entreating us with a Love so great we
will never understand it to come home. To
be forgiven, to find salvation, to change who we are, what we do, and how we
love. God was there, even then, trying
to save. That picture of love should
overwhelm us, even more than the real damage that would destroy us. Look up, it is not too late, find your
salvation in Jesus Christ.
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