Most folks, particularly of the Christian variety, would like to think, that the scriptures say nothing about porn. But they might. Oh sure, in the time of Christ, there was no internet stocked full of free porn sites designed to lure the viewer into finding the kinds of things that might arouse interest; and stay, and deepen the interest by indulging in it with such regularity that perhaps new and even more unusual images might peak the interest on the next visit. The foundational idea of porn is that variety is the core of arousal, monotony is the death of it. So while in the time of Christ there was not this vast established infrastructure to support porn from a distribution point of view; there was still one constant, the mind and imagination of the men and women who fostered indulgent thinking behind a mask of upright and conscientious external appearances. After all the imagination of a person can hide a great many thoughts, inappropriate ideas, and downright lusts, from our friends, family, and neighbors … but not from Jesus.
Yikes! To think that Jesus is privy to our most intimate thoughts, and fully aware of every sexual idea that has crossed our minds from an age too young to consider it, to an age too old to act on it (minus perhaps a little blue pill), is embarrassing to say the least. Generally, we think of our sexuality as private, as personal, a kind of no-one-else’s business perhaps including God. Well more accurately, especially excluding God given the thoughts that float through our heads from time-to-time. To think we are not living in as private a condition as our sin demands is un-nerving. To consider the idea of openly including God in our sexuality is not something even most Christians are comfortable with. But then, God created it, He understands it better than we ever will, so why exclude Him? The idea that our sense of privacy inherently excludes God should give us an indication that our ideas are not lining up with His, or at least with what we have been taught about His ideas.
But before we can talk about where things went wrong we might consider the template of when things were first perfect. Before sin. Before the apple tasting when both of our original parents chose to break trust with God, there was the concept of male and female, and the partnership we refer to as marriage. The original template however was something much deeper and more intimate, and more vulnerable, than the casual use we make of the word marriage in our modern day. Eve was not just Adam’s helper, she was his everything, he was willing to let go of Eden and die rather than lose her. He held nothing back from her. Not thoughts, ideas, dreams … everything that could enter the mind of Adam was shared in perfection with the flesh of his flesh. They both existed naked and unashamed, clothing was a by-product of sin. Their physique’s were not a source of pride, or of lust, but of the beauty of the finger of God, and what He was able to sculpt from the dirt of our earth.
This was a relationship meant to last, meant to last forever, something eternal. It was not time based, as other than the weekly practice of Sabbath time with our God (something they both looked forward to in a special way, also created before sin), marriage was an eternal construct. This marriage was literally the anti-matter of porn. Variety is not God’s idea of what is needed for sexual expression, rather continuity is, intimacy is. Sexual expression was meant to be so personal, so intense, that only one other person could ever come to know you as deeply across every facet of your life, as to understand you in this way this well. Security in knowing you belonged to a partner who was literally the other half of your life, brought a foundation to how you lived, that words could scarcely summarize into the term marriage or monogamy.
Unity to nearly the point of sharing molecules, was the idea that went into a marriage meant to last in forever kinds of terms. There would be no boredom. For how could boredom dare survive the imagination of minds not encumbered with self-love, or the limits we place upon ourselves. A pure service to others, in this case our spouse, was an effort that would occupy the imagination and the senses. Creating joy for another was the full-time dedication of our existence, that would have neither end, nor limitations in its expression. Purity, and complete dedication, innocence, and no plans to change it. This is how marriage began, and how it was intended to last. Never even a thought of having it end, or distracting it with something else. No need. Once perfection is attained, anything else is by definition, less.
Had sin never emerged, there would be no divorce. When sin is put to an end, divorce will be consumed with it, but marriage will not. It will return to the state it was intended to be in, it’s original purist form between those who God heals for it. Perhaps not all of us, perhaps so. But what sin can damage, our Lord can remake, and repair. This is the entire point of salvation itself. Transformation is more than what happens within us, it is what happens to return institutions created before sin, to their original state, and perhaps us with them on an eternal basis.
Comparing that, to what we call marriage, is comparing brilliant light, to shadows in darkness. We hardly have even the reflection of what was originally intended. But we try. And over time our ideas about marriage come to include a multiplicity that by definition must spoil the intimacy that God intended. Multiplicity entertained by ancient Israel, fed only the self-love of men, at the expense of women, and to the detriment of what they still called marriage. And over time our ideas then included the notion, of a do-over, of making a different decision about what forever means as we apply it to spouses. Enter divorce. Divorce too, was most often employed by men to cast aside women they no longer loved or wanted, in favor of something else. The idea of starting over was never meant to be cast in this context, but self-love and selfishness can find a way to rationalize a great many things. So it did. Over time, our ideas about marriage had made it more contractual, subject to the tools of legal application, than a level of intimacy that would wish no deterrent.
And Jesus enters the stage. How sad He must of have been to witness the institution He created for the joy of mankind, twisted until it was a tool of Satan to destroy the entire creation of mankind. Porn is only the external manifestation of what can exist within the heart of men and women, who do not understand why the continuity of intimacy is so much better. Jesus sees what we have done to marriage, and how we butcher the term, and the application. So He is driven to speak out. Matthew records what Jesus had to say about our ideas of sexual expression in his gospel in chapter five and picking up in verse 27 he quotes Jesus saying … “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: [verse 28] But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
At this point not only are our motives made equal to our actions in the sight of God, now we can add “how” we look and think about a woman (or man if you are a woman). To entertain the idea of what any form of sexual expression might be like with another person, even if only in the mind’s eye, has become the definition of lust. It does not matter if the woman has contributed to this problem, by removing her clothing, taking an alluring pose, and offering a receptive look on the pages of a porn site; or whether she is appropriately modest and attempting no such ideas. The state of the woman is not in question. The reaction of the man is. That the man would seek out women to visualize in this manner, has only to warp his imagination, and further promote the idea that women are mere biological objects, not people to be cherished.
To see, to imagine, to entertain the notion of variety, is to embrace porn and destroy marriage or our ability to enjoy it, through the corruption of sin. We warp our thinking until intimacy is a long-lost casualty, and aggression is a close ally. In those where intimacy has been decimated, a hunt begins, to find the next object we can perform our acts of biology upon. The object of our expression becomes nothing more to us than a sack of meat. What kind of meat begins to matter less and less, only that variety is maintained, and emotional attachment is never considered from the acts we perform. There is no limit to what derangement may follow. “Normal” is truly a subjective concept absent an external point of morality, such as the original template of marriage, or the Law of God that would sustain it, by reflecting back to us “who” we truly love.
The idea that these thoughts lead nowhere was put to rest immediately by Jesus as He continues in verse 29 saying … “And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. [verse 30] And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” As men we are prone to visualization, though this is not completely in the province of men. As humans, what we see influences what we think. And most men take action (very often with their right hands) when considering what they have seen with their eyes, and have come to imagine in their minds. Jesus points out here that choosing to focus on these things, and enact our lust, even if only on a “personal” basis, leads to a point where humans are sacks of meat, and God is an inhibitor of me making me happy. Forget salvation, give me the here and now in a lust that has no abandon. That degenerative path begins in the mind, and finds action in the hands. And you thought porn was not mentioned in scripture.
Jesus continues in verse 31 saying … “It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: [verse 32] But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” What Jesus describes here is a sequence of events, not a justification for divorce. The sins listed are fornication and adultery, which both are effectively sex outside the confines of marriage. Divorcing your wife, because you changed your mind, does not break the marriage vow from heaven’s point of view. It takes greater sin to do that. Abuse would do it. Sexual promiscuity would do it. But because you have changed your mind over time, is not enough to get it done. So, just handing her a paper of divorce, makes the next man who attempts to marry her, an effective adulterer with her as the first bond still holds in the eyes of heaven. By the way, it does not free the man to remarry either, he and his new wife also become nothing more than adulterers, not truly husband and wife.
This is not meant to be a legal clinic on divorce by Jesus Christ. It is meant to reset our thinking on just what vowing forever means. It is not something we should treat so lightly. God can mend hearts, and put love there, when no love exists. It is rather His specialty. So marriages that might otherwise seem to have gone dead can be resurrected, when we are willing to put Jesus Christ back into them. Even back into an otherwise dead sex life. The true author of sex knows how to revive and remake a sex life that would stand the test of eternity. He just needs your permission to do it. It may involve re-teaching you everything you thought you knew. From how you think about people generally, to how to make someone else happy during sex, never for a moment thinking about “your” needs. Consider for a moment, in marriages following the original template, neither person is thinking about self, both are only obsessed with thinking of the other partner. And the let fireworks begin to fly.
While we have twisted horribly the idea of marriage in our world, allowing Jesus to transform us, allows Jesus to transform what our marriages can be like. They too, can begin to see radical improvement in the here and now. What once seemed dead on the vine, can be resurrected and become so important to the two participants that life itself could not be imagined without the blessing of the marriage they have after Jesus. It is long past due for porn to die in our thinking. Not just our incessant visitation of sites on the internet when we think no one will catch us; but instead the notion that variety itself is better than the continuity of intimacy.
Variety is not the spice of life where it comes to sex, it is the death of happiness. Variety, and our quest to achieve it, births only pain to those we love, those who love us, and the circles of lives it reverberates through. That is not increasing our fun, that is killing it. But true transformation, where we submit even our sexual expression and desires to Jesus Christ, does not result in the death of sex. But instead in a re-vitalization of a sex life that is based on self-less-ness and singularity. It puts our sex life on a path ever upward, ever more interesting, ever more a gift to the singular partner who means more than life to us. Only then does our imagination begin to consider what else could bring true joy to a partner we cherish. Only when we allow Jesus to remain a part of our marriage and of our sex life, can we keep it free from sin, and on the course heaven would wish for us both.
And this same sermon was not over yet …
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