What Does It Mean To Love? ...

There are those who say “Love is cheap.”  To this I ask, “then how could God be love?”  What love motivated God to do for us on Calvary was anything but cheap.  On the contrary, it was everything He had.  The massive power and ability of God to control everything, escape everything, was held in check through the torture, through the pain, all the way into the grave.  He did nothing to save Himself from our punishment, but instead He bore it so we would never have to.  He endured a separation from His Father, the source of all love, that broke His heart and cost Him His life.  All for you.  Everything He had, He would lay down, only for you.  What does it mean to love?  What does it mean to love like God loves?  When Christ gives His disciples the commandment to love one another, how should we translate that into practical terms?  This direction to us was not about warm fuzzy feelings, or empty words spoken in passing without any thought behind them.  To love each other carries far more meaning than that.

Peter carried a passion in his ministry and counsel to the church of his day.  He knew that above all things, the success of early church would be defined by how it loved.  It is no different today.  The success of the gospel message will be defined by how those who proclaim it - love (not with their words, but with their lives).  In our study of Peter’s first letter to the church, we have reviewed the importance Peter placed on a humble submissive approach to the world around us, no matter how evil it might be.  After offering counsel to men and then women about how to reach the un-reached heart, melting it with humility and love, he now refocuses back to those who claim the name of Christ.  His counsel focuses back on what it means to love.

He begins in chapter 3 in verse 8 saying … “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: [verse 9] Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.”  To be of one mind, one must be willing to become part of a collective, part of a family.  We need not lose our identity or sacrifice what makes us unique and adds value to the body of Christ.  But needs be, that we sacrifice the ego that would hold our uniqueness above the value of others.  If we are to be one, we must accept the uniqueness of others as having equal weight with our own contributions.  “Smart” is not the only virtue to value.  “Caring” means more, far more often.  “Approachable” will enable connections where its opposite prevents the sharing of love.  Every attribute, every gift, every unique contribution to the body of Christ carries equal weight, and is equally needed in the cause of Christ.  To be of one mind, we must see that all parts of the body are as critical to the cause of Christ, as is our own particular piece.

In our quest for unity of spirit, of goals to love the unloved, we must not lose sight of the opportunity and blessing of showing Compassion to each other.  To feel deeply for those in pain, to so care about someone else, that what happens to them, happens to you – is to love your neighbor as yourself.  To find pity for your spouse, or children, or parents might be easier, but to find it for your fellow parishioner might be quite a bit harder.  To find pity for an enemy, or for the “man on the street”, to so value his life and experiences that they carry equal weight with your own, is to begin to love like Christ loved.  This kind of love for one another is not natural.  It can only come through submission to Christ that Peter has already given significant attention to. 

Peter then adds the idea of practicing common courtesy to each other.  Imagine how often courtesy, allows the simple basic needs of another to be prioritized ahead of your own.  You are driving down the road, and someone needs to get into your lane – do you let them in front of you to be courteous?  You may find yourself delayed as a result.  If you do it for everyone who has a need it may take you a long time to get anywhere.  Those behind you are sure to be critical.  But those who you permit access ahead of your own need to get somewhere could be grateful.  Courtesy is only a simple practice of putting the needs of someone else ahead of your own.  It is being thoughtful.  A parent takes a small child out to eat at a crowded restaurant.  The child becomes agitated and disruptive, does the parent allow the child to run amok?  Or are they proactively addressing the needs of the child, while minimizing the disruption of the dining experience of others who have paid to eat out as well?  Courtesy, would see the parent take proactive and preventative action, even if it means their own food grows cold.  The experience of others outweighs their own.  That is courtesy seldom seen in the world today.

Then Peter gets back to his theme of what it means to love.  When evil is shown to you, when someone rails against your (whether deserved or not), your response is the choice you are faced with.  You cannot prevent someone else from taking evil against you.  You cannot prevent the hurtful words another may speak about you.  But your response defines your love – even for those who prefer to remain your enemy.  The blessing the Christian inherits in returning love for evil is no small thing.  It is the basis of conversion.  It is the reason to ask “why”?  Think about how your respond to Christ.  You spit in His face, and yet He loves you.  You hurt Him with what you do, yet He forgives you, and holds no memory of your slights.  You begin to wonder, “why” would God love you so much?  What is it about you that is “worth” loving?  You can’t see it.  But somehow He does.  And love begins the work of transformation within you away from the evil you once embraced, and into the unfailing love you have been shown.

Imagine for a minute though, what would have happened if when you spit at God, He happened to spit back.  That would have only been justice.  You throw rocks at Him, so He throws rocks at you.  After all you threw first.  He does not have to use His powers, He could exactly return to you what you have done to Him.  But He does not.  If He did, you would not see love, you would see justice.  People turn from the justice they are due.  No one likes to admit what their actions have earned them.  No one likes to suffer the consequences of the evil seeds they have planted.  Instead, they want to do evil, and see none in return.  Justice does nothing to inspire loyalty, it is only a factual response.  Love however is a mystery.  Why someone would return love for your evil, begins to gnaw at your mind.  It is aggravating not to be able to understand why someone responds to your evil, with good.  That response warrants investigation.  That response must be understood, and so the path of love begins.  The blessing we inherit, may be a small role in the redemption of another soul.  For us to even begin to point an erring soul back to the source of all love, is not inconsequential.  It is us, allowing God, to use us, for the benefit of mankind.

Peter continues in verse 10 … “For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: [verse 11] Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.”  Peter wants those who read his words to have a life worth living, a good life.  He is not just deferring a good life until we meet in heaven.  He is establishing how to have one here on earth despite being under unjust rule, and perhaps even the control of slavery and oppression.  To be happy and love life, keep your tongue in check.  Speak no mischief of others, speak no lies, speak no malice.  Instead of seeking evil, seek to escape evil and find something good to say or do instead.  Instead of allowing ego to foster conflict, seek peace.  Be humble enough to embrace peace no matter if you are “right” or not.  Seek peace and unity, speaking truth without malice, or harming others.  Mind how your words are heard, how they might be interpreted, take care so that love is ALWAYS heard in what you speak.  This is the recipe for a happy life in the here and now.  Evil seeds yield only an evil harvest.

Peter continues in verse 12 … “For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.  [verse 13] And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?”  First, it is important to understand that the problems in our prayer-life are not because is listening or ignoring us.  It is instead what we ask for.  Too often we ask for what “we” need, or what “we” want, and what we want is intended solely for our benefit.  The righteous asks for others, the righteous are like Christ seeking how to make the lives of others better in the world.  Those prayers are heard, as it gives God permission to intercede in the life of someone who might not have chosen it, in order that He answer our prayers on their behalf.  Those are the prayers God longs to hear, and answer.  The gimme, gimme, gimme, prayers are all too common, and have only one target to benefit – namely me.  God knows the needs of His people, and loves them.  He spoils His children in showering them what they truly need, even if sometimes it is hard to see that is what is occurring.

The things intended for our harm, will be turned into something that is for our good – because of the love of God for each of us.  It is OK to express our needs to God in our prayers, but remembering He already knows them, He is deeply concerned about them, and He has already made provision for addressing them.  Given that, do you really need to keep kicking the dead horse?  If instead, we focused the energy of our prayers on the deep needs of others, we might find a more productive use of prayer.  It may be that the one in need refuses to bow before our God, and his only hope is that you will do it on his behalf.  It may be that the one trapped in a sin you know they commit, has no desire to be made free from that sin.  Should you silently pray to God for that person, you might find it is both theirs and your own heart melted by love.  The prayers of the righteous carry a faith that already knows their own needs have been addressed before they begin.  They are free to pray for others, and take care to notice what God might wish to do for others, through them.

What does it mean to love?  For Peter, it means you put the eternal life of another so ahead of your own temporary needs and desires, that you become an instrument for their salvation.  It is not about finding warm fuzzy feelings and “chemistry” that would draw you to the homeless and those who reek from life in the gutter.  It is about seeing that mentally challenged chemically imbalanced soul, and seeing the face of God, and the love of God trying so hard to break through and reach that soul.  You may be His only instrument.  You may be His last tool, His last opportunity.  What a tragedy to waste that opportunity because we are so “busy”.  What a tragedy to deny love because those mentally imbalanced homeless souls are “incapable” of understanding what we might have offered.  They may have their problems.  But the love of Christ reaches deep, and heals a multitude of illness.  To pray for that person, to take action to show love to that person, may result in the miracle of healing that might have otherwise never been seen.  For all eternity, what gratitude might you be showing to those who helped bring you to the love of Christ?

What does it mean to love?  For Peter it means that we value unity in the church above the needs of our ego.  It means we value the life of an enemy so highly that we would seek their happiness despite how they treat us before, during, and after what we do for them.  It means we treat our enemies like our God treated us when we were His enemy.  It means we treat our spouse like the infinite unique treasure they have always been.  It means we treat those in authority over us, with respect, kindness, humility and love, even when how they treat us is nothing short of oppression.  It means winning the end game.  Sin will only be defeated when mankind chooses to seek freedom from it through the power of Christ.  Love draws mankind to that point.  Criticism drives man away from it.

Have you been so drawn by the love of Christ, to the point where you are willing to reflect it to others?  Have you asked yourself … what does it mean to love?