.jpg)
It is disheartening to recognize we may be so stupid that we could throw away a victory our Lord is trying to give us. We would wish that was simply impossible. But our God never compels the conscience; he only re-creates it as we are willing. Once having been freed from bondage to evil, we “could” still return to it, even though the desire to do so might be completely gone. It does not just have to be a failure to an overwhelming sense of temptation that we fall prey to. In point of fact, it is much worse than that. It is generally more calculating, more intended, more willful, and by far – more stupid – yet it still does occur. The example of Lucifer in heaven is one that will forever be ingrained in the minds of those who will one day reach perfection. Lucifer broke trust with God, by intent, by choice, and that choice was the genesis of evil in the universe. He was not tempted, nor pre-disposed, he was in fact perfect. But his free will and freedom to think, led him to explore the ideas of self that ran in contrast to the character of God. He ignored the wisdom and counsel of God, and left us with a legacy of pain. One day, Christ’s work of perfection will be completed within us, but becoming perfect does not preclude us from ever sinning again. The only way we will remain perfect for all eternity is to keep our complete trust and confidence in the same God who saved us in the first place. If in a billion years in heaven the Lord asks you not to eat the purple tomatoes, or wear the pink feathered hat, I would suggest we will obey. Not because we understand why He asks us to do so, but because we know He only does so because He loves us. We must learn not to trust our own wisdom and common sense, and instead trust our God who knows more than we. A lesson Lucifer failed.
Still in our world, relapse happens. The reasons for it vary from person to person, but some of the causes we share in common. Most often, the culprit again is self. We begin to take His victories for granted. Over time it is tempting to begin to think that maybe we just somehow conquered sin on our own. After all, it may have been months since we last fell into our former weakness. Maybe now we are simply immune to it. Notice how in all this line of reasoning that the emphasis moves away from Christ giving us a victory which He maintains in us, and instead focuses on us – what “we” are immune to, how long “we” have remained pure, “our” victories instead of His.
It is similar to the experience Peter had while walking on water. While keeping his attention focused on Christ, and despite the fact Peter knew what he was attempting was simply impossible and would violate our understanding of the laws of physics and gravity, Peter succeeded. Not because Peter was given the ability to defy gravity, but instead because Peter was focused on the Christ who invited him out of the boat. But like us on occasion, Peter realized that indeed “he was doing it”. He then decided to turn around and have the other disciples recognize what “he” was doing. And of course Peter immediately sank. What might have been an otherwise dry walk with His Lord, turned out to be a life threatening dip in the drink, all because he forgot “how” this could occur. He lost sight of Christ, looked for recognition, and down he went.
We are no different than Peter. Christ works a miracle in our lives that we simply do not understand. It defies our life-long historical experience. We just can’t figure out how we could go from craving some sin so badly to no longer needing or wanting it around. Over time, we start thinking, “we” did it. And the moment we take our eyes off of Christ, we are every bit as vulnerable to our former failures as we ever were. It is NOT because our cure is not real, genuine, or eternal. It would be. But it can also be undone by our tendency to insert “self” back into the process of our perfection. “We are not saved by works, lest any man should boast” says Paul in his letter to the Ephesians (2:8-9). It is not our actions, or our strength of will, that has anything to do with how evil is removed from our hearts. Long periods of victory can easily be undone the minute we decide to put “self” back into that equation. Like Peter, the minute we pull our eyes off Christ, the laws of physics reengage, and we start to sink. To do what cannot be done, requires a continual recognition that this is indeed impossible – outside of Christ. Only Christ can do what must be done in us. Only as we surrender our will, our very core of who we are to Him, is this possible. The moment we start thinking that there is some portion of us “worth” holding on to, we sink.
Peter sank because he could not be allowed to think that somehow “he” was doing it. Sometimes we fall for the very same reasons. It is perhaps the leading reason why there are so few modern day Moses’, Elijah’s, or Peter’s, walking around being covered by CNN on a daily basis. Too few Christians are ready to wield the power of Christ, without becoming enamored with the idea that it is they who are truly great rather than Christ who alone is. The would-be miracle worker is all too eager for the attention they would receive because of “their” great faith, and “their” great deeds, and “their” important ministries. Instead of focusing the attention in great humility back on Christ who alone is worthy, we are all too eager to start believing maybe “we” are worth something too. And so miracles are denied to the world. Not because God is weak or unwilling, or even that we lack the faith, but because our ideas of self would become a poison to our souls. When instead our sense of self has been completely eradicated, and we see value only how we can truly serve Him, with a full knowledge of our own inability to accomplish anything - the miracles of Christ will pour out on the earth in such force and passion as the world has not seen since He left it. It will usher in the days of the latter rain, but it cannot begin falling while we are too eager to see ourselves in its reflection, instead of focusing on only Him.
We are saved only because He saves us. We remain pure, only because He sustains us. And we can avoid throwing away His victories only as we stay willing to be remade, and in humility, cognizant that it is He alone who saves us. If we let self creep in to our ideas of redemption or perfection, we are destined to failure. It is self that must be fully killed before He can be fully revealed. Satan works hard to distract us from this knowledge. He sometimes works to lure us into a sense of false security. He leaves us alone from his temptations for long enough for us to begin to wonder if we still need to daily seek the will of the Lord for us. After all, if we have spent many days without a problem, and now appear to no longer desire our former evil, perhaps our “need” of God has been reduced. If Satan is able to combine a limited record of success against evil with many “real” demands of our day-to-day lives, he might be able to keep us from spending the time each day to ask God to continue His work in us and remove all the evil in us. As we quit asking, he still leaves us alone, in order for us to think, perhaps our problems are over, and we are finally “past” it. Lulled into this state of spiritual slumber, we quit praying every day, and the temptation to begin relying on self once again grows in the place where the victories of Christ should be. Before you know it, we are neck deep in the waters of evil once again, crying like Peter to be saved once more.
No sin is a death sentence to the work of Christ perfecting our souls; accept a refusal to allow Him to do so. That idea of telling Christ “no”, or “don’t bother” is not something a Christian believes they would ever allow themselves to get to. Surely we would repent before it got that far. Surely God would intervene before we finally said no to Him. But sadly, it is possible to develop a pattern of telling God “no” in the slightest of ways that builds over time. It comes as we hold back our willingness to be fully changed into what He intends for us. We cling to some evil we cherish thinking we can work on other things first perhaps. Sometimes we even cling to our own ideas about “truth” rather than being willing to be led to “truth” by Christ. We allow Christ to change only some of who we are, but not the one thing we still think we need to hang on to. While Christ is patient with us, He is ever desiring to remove every pain, not just the ones we think He should remove. The conflict is one within us that grows over time where we begin to realize it will come down to a choice of keeping our cherished sin, or turning it over to Christ. If we cling to it, for whatever the reason, we deny Christ the ability to remove it from us.
By doing this, we are tempted to hold on to more and more of our cherished sins, until we reach a point where we don’t want His involvement in any aspect of our lives. This is no instant process either. It takes time to develop, and works slowly on our souls. But its progress is predictable and unavoidable to those who refuse to submit all. It is the willingness to let everything go, that is in the balance of our souls. We might not want to let go, but by being willing, what we want will change. What we value will be remade to what it should be rather than what it is. To prevent this alteration, is to risk a path of doom that we may not escape. God does not compel compliance; He only offers freedom from slavery.
There is little worse feeling of remorse, guilt, and self-loathing that follows a failure of a sin Christ had already removed from your life. To fall back into a weakness that you did not “have” to choose; hurts. Satan uses these opportunities to try to destroy your faith in the salvation Christ offers. He tries to tempt you to believe your changes are not real, just imagined. He tries to tell you that Christ should not be expected to do everything, and obviously you did not do your part. He works hard to turn your needless failures into a permanent despair or forsaking of all hope that you can ever be truly changed. And most of all, Satan looks to insure you repeat this weakness quickly and often. But relapse, no matter the cause, is not a condition beyond hope. Despite the forsaking of the victory Christ has wrought, He can do it again. But again like Peter, we must be broken by what we do, and return to the only one we know. Peter denied Christ 3 times after swearing he would die for Him. On finding himself guilty of these denials and seeing love in the eyes of Christ, Peter fled. I would be willing to bet his heart was broken and he wept bitterly at what he had done. He had no chance to undo it. Christ would die before his courage would return. His ideas about the ascendency of Christ and his own greatness in a new earthly kingdom were completely shattered. His whole theology, as taught by the priests of his day and with common expectations of the public, was obliterated on a Roman cross. Ironic that the religion of Christ, setup by the Messiah, was completely mis-taught and misunderstood by the time Christ arrived, such that its priests determined to kill the very God who ordained a religion of love they had long since discarded. How interesting that today the Christian religion is seldom known for its great love, instead being known for its great judgment. But I digress …
Peter could have done what Judas did and ended his own life. But he did not. Despite everything he thought he knew being shattered, he was still in the upper room with the others hiding from what they thought would be certain death. It was in this room that the good news was first proclaimed by the women who had been to the tomb. Peter was reunited with His master, and this time when Christ asked Him if he loved Him, Peter answered … “thou knowest”. Instead of proclaiming what he Peter would do, or think, or feel – he deferred to what Christ knew about him. Instead of relying on even his own sense of devotion and love to Christ, Peter surrendered his ideas of self and deferred to the will of Christ. Relapse and remorse did NOT claim the life of Peter. Instead his brokenness and guilt was laid on the altar of Calvary and in its place was put the power of Christ. When later asked to perform miracles or offer charity, He would make the disclaimer, “not I, but Christ”. Peter would perform miracles that defied all wisdom and the laws of physics, and each and every time He alone proclaimed the gospel of Christ not of himself. The gospel he preached in power was that Christ could change even the heart of a fisherman who would deny he ever even knew His Lord, and turn that same life into one the world could scarcely ignore. Peter’s personal testimony included his failures, and the victories Christ gave him. Ours can only be the same.
For those that through daily surrender never know the pain of relapse, praise to the Lord. But for those who for whatever reason find themselves hiding in an upper room so totally ashamed at having thrown away what the Lord had done for them, take heart in Christ and know that relapse is not your end. Christ is. Fall back to the same one who in times past so redeemed you from yourself, and know He is still there, still waiting, still eager to take away your pain and give you peace. Satan may try to convict you with the truth of your life and your failures. But Christ can work within you a new truth, a new reality, and a new future. The mechanism you develop in learning to submit and trust the Lord to save you here, is the same one that will preserve you through all eternity and see that no sin ever arises in your mind and heart forever. It will always and only ever be Christ alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment