We go through our lives scarcely aware of our surroundings,
we mark time in routines, are casual with those we need the most; UNTIL - we
find ourselves separated from these common things and begin to feel that
separation. Then the commonplace becomes
appreciated, the things we took for granted become the prize we crave. What is it that makes one feel a longing for
home? Could it be the emptiness of
things, or the lack of value in experiences that go unshared. Whatever the motive, the feeling is distinct
and unmistakable. It is rough to be
homesick.
And believe it or not, God feels it perhaps more than
we. You see, God has a bad case of
empty-nest syndrome. All of His children
are far away, disconnected, and not ready to return home just yet. The parable Christ told of the prodigal son,
reveals the feelings of His Father when He runs towards his long-lost son and
throws His own raiment on his filthy starving child. He welcomes his son home with a great feast
sparing no expense in celebration. There
is no condemnation of his son which would be rightly deserved. Rather there is nothing but an overwhelming
expression of love. God after all, is
love. And love yearns to connect, to
share experiences, to find value in others.
Things do not even rate a concerned word, but people are praised above
all else.
Ever find yourself at home, and still homesick? The patriarch Abraham was defined as a
sojourner wandering in a strange land looking for home promised by God. But since Eden, mankind has not known his
true home. We have been wandering in a
strange world, separated from the source of all love. And though the good-news of the gospel
reveals the plan of redemption, and we begin to reconnect to our God through
the grace of His Son Jesus, we still find ourselves here. We remain in this strange and foreign
land. Until we come to see the nature of
our disease, until we recognize we so desperately need the cure, which only the
Master Physician can apply – we remain in our strange land, distracted, and
unaware of why we feel such a longing that cannot be filled. Homesick, and ignorant of why. When we recognize the nature of sin, and
reject it, and realize what it means to turn away from evil and embrace what is
good – we begin to be ready to return to our real home.
It is hard to learn the lesson of helplessness, of humility,
of dependence. We are much more
acclimated to be proud than to admit shortfalls. We are inclined to embrace self-sufficiency until
we finally hit ‘rock-bottom’ in our lives.
Unfortunately these lessons are sometimes required in a spiritual
context in order to see where spiritual growth actually occurs. Just like the heroin junkie, or hard-core
alcoholic, we realize our powerlessness and admit we need help outside of
ourselves – even for the ‘little’ sins.
The work of Salvation belongs to the Lord. Our role remains to accept it. When we turn aside from this, we embrace an
ignorance that prolongs our separation.
God does not help those who ‘help’ themselves – God helps those who
realize they are powerless to do anything to ‘help’ themselves. It is our weakness that enables His
strength. It is our recognition of our
blindness that finally gives us sight.
And it is our death to self, that finally brings us life, and life
eternal.
So when will our homesick condition finally end? A question asked from Adam till me, and with
luck by only few more moving forward. I
thought in my teens that I may never see college in this world as God would
return one final time to take us home and end all this. But in my teens I did not see the nature of
my sin. I thought God wanted to deny me
the ‘fun’ things when He did return. In
college, I thought not to see my 30’s for surely the time is near then. But while in college I discovered the love of
God, I still held that some sins were simply too important to be shed of just
yet. Then in my thirties I thought my
children would not see college in this world, but would have to rather enroll
in Heaven University. Wrong again. But in my thirties I began to reap what I had
sown for so long, the sin I had cherished hit me hard, and repeatedly. The habits I had developed had it in mind to
destroy me utterly. And I began to
realize the true nature of sin, any sin, all sin, my sin.
I am older now, in my forties, the golden age J. And I realize my wisdom is naught, my
goodness entirely lacking, my faith is only a gift (part of the package of
redemption I chose so long ago). While
my certainty in the existence of a benevolent God is rooted in a lifetime of my
relationship with Him; I find all things of value associated with me actually
come from Him. Our relationship is
one-sided; He gives and I try not to refuse or get in the way of His gift. My ambition becomes to be a more effective
channel. And my goal to see a complete
eradication of sin and evil in my life and as other recognize it, throughout
the Universe in total. I crave an end to
the homesickness that plagues me to the core.
I yearn to curl up in the bosom of the Lord and know peace. I wish to play like a child in Heaven’s parks
at the feet of Jesus. And I wish to
learn, explore, and find service my calling.
As far across as the Universe may be, and as much as I plan
to traverse it, I cannot exist long outside of the immediate presence of my
Father God. Home is truly in His
presence. And Homesickness will exist
until I am able to physically enter His presence without fear, doubt, or
hesitation. Though I will never be
worthy, I will be forgiven. And He will
run to meet me. He will throw His
righteousness over my filthy existence covering me with an honor I will never
warrant. He will celebrate our reunion
with more joy than even I could experience.
And my homecoming will finally be complete. But I will not ever comprehend why or even
how He could feel so strongly about me.
This is the eternal mystery of love, which I yearn to embrace.
But for now, I wait here, in a strange land … homesick.
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